Considering It Pure Joy

The Valley

2012-02-06T16:21:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago, my ladies biblestudy started back up. The moment I sat down I felt myself letting out an inner *sigh*--I just love being there so much. To look around the table is so encouraging-young moms like me, more seasoned moms (note-I didn't say "older"! heehee). This new study is on the book of Psalms; taking a few Psalms each week and looking deeper. The first week, we began with probably the most familiar Psalm of all: Psalm 23. Interestingly enough, this past Sunday in youth Sunday School, Ryan's cousin, Thaan, led a study on Psalm 23 as well. So when our leader mentioned we would start with this Psalm, I kinda sat back and thought, "I just studied this, bummer." Goodness, I am so ignorant sometimes, thinking I've learned all there is to know! Ugh. But of course, I hadn't learned all there is to know about Psalm 23...and I love how we are truly never done learning and growing.

A few thoughts that stuck out to me:
{GREEN PASTURES}

"...he makes me lie down in green pastures." - It doesn't say, "he asks me if I'd like to lie down..." Just like a shepherd knows what's truly best for his sheep (cause honestly, sheep aren't very smart!), the Lord knows what I need, when I need it!

"He restores me soul." - I don't think it's on accident that the "restores my soul" comes immediately after the rest and refreshment of lying down in green pastures and still waters. The act of rest brings restoration to our bodies, souls, minds, hearts...

"He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies..." - It's not me setting the table. This isn't me hosting Jesus at my table. Rather, it's Him preparing a table (with a FEAST on it...most likely including flank steak, twice-baked potatoes and spinich salad - all my FAVES!) And I'm enjoying this feast right in front of my enemies...as though they're not even there!

What peace and comfort The Shepherd brings to His sheep. We are lost, wandering, even dumb at times. And He does whatever it takes, even as far as physically carrying us on His shoulders to bring us through the valley's of life. Love, love, love.

From Blog Signature

"A New One's Just Begun..."

2012-01-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

Well, helloooooo 2012! I've felt SO discombobulated ever since you've been here! All 3 days of ya! ;) It's time to get back into the regular routine...I can feel it! The girls go back to school tomorrow and I'm ready to get stuff done. And by "stuff" I mean just that...stuff! Nothing in particular, yet EVERYTHING all at the same time! Ha! Even that thought confirms how truly discombobulated I've really become over these past few holiday weeks! Nonetheless, I'm excited to see my New Years resolution begin to unfold (read about it here if you haven't already). Time to clean house, re-organize, re-focus and push on towards an amazing year. 2011 wasn't super eventful and that's ok. I don't think it was supposed to be. We spent it deepening our roots at North Sound and building ministry from the ground up. For those that have done the same thing, you know that's eventful in and of itself. We didn't need any huge, life-changing events taking place.
2011 was preparation for 2012.
2012 may bring big life changes our way...the starting stages of a church plant...possibly moving out of our home into something smaller to become more mobile and ready to go wherever the Lord takes us...continuing my music ministry writing/recording/performing...the girls will turn 4 (holy cow)!...and God only knows what else! I better devote myself to some serious prayer in preparation of what's to come in 2012! I wanna be ready mentally, spiritually, physically & emotionally...
2012, here we come!

Bloom - Take 2

2011-12-29T15:28:00.000-08:00

I've never been much for New Year's resolutions. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I never stuck with them when I did start them, so I gave up all together?! This year, I surprisingly find myself inspired to resolve to something as 2012 approaches! I have actually felt the Lord whispering it to me over the past few months and I've just sorta been soaking in. Now, I find myself so excited by it. I find a bit of freedom and release when I think about it. I write this post today because this resolution, while it is applicable to every aspect of my life, I feel a real push for it to be my "music motto".
My New Year's Resolution:

The Scripture at the bottom (in case it's hard to read) is paraphrased from Col. 3:16-17, The Message)
"...Sing, sing your heart out to God! Let every detail of your life
--words, actions, whatever--
be done in the name of the Master, Jesus,
thanking God the Father every step of the way."

Don't go looking for that "big break", always hoping to be discovered. Bloom where you're planted. Right where you are-right now. Be satisfied with ministering to the people God has placed around you. They love, support and appreciate you already!
Think LOCALLY...your own church, coffee shops, community events, nursing homes, worship team. I truly believe that when we are satisfied with what we already have, then, God will (if He desires), "enlarge our borders" and move us into a new season of ministry!
Happy New Year - may 2012 be FULL of amazing surprises as you strive to BLOOM WHERE GOD HAS PLANTED YOU!

Humbly,Emily

{BLOOM}

2011-12-12T15:12:00.001-08:00

My New Year's Resolution...

A Little Help Here?!?

2011-12-09T16:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we can't put our feelings into words. Life is so full and we aren't sure how we'll make it through until tomorrow. Have you been there? I'm there. Life isn't bad. I'm doing my very best not to complain, I promise! ;) But life is just full. Blame the holiday season, I suppose. But as I found myself speechless in my day...these words were singing their way into my heart & mind. Words from a very respected singer and songwriter, you may have heard of her...Brooke Fraser. She wrote a song title Shadowfeet a few years back and I wanted to quote part of it...as it's encouraged me to think bigger than my moment today! Be encouraged as you soak each word in...

"When the world has fallen out from under me

I'll be found in You, still standing...

When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees

When time and space are through

I'll be found in You."

My Crafty Side

2011-12-06T16:18:00.001-08:00

The past couple of months have been strange for me. Nothing out-of-the-ordinary...I was just in a funk. You know how those go. Mostly, I was struggling to find peace with my job. My jobs (in order of importance):
Follower of Christ

Wife to Ryan

Mom to Evie, Ella, Hero (our dog! Dog owners know how that goes...)

Part-time Receptionist

Worship Leader & Pastor's Wife

And not to leave out, friend, daughter, sister...you get the idea!

Well, my stuggle was coming from the part-time receptionist role. I was finding myself quite overwhelmed trying to find enough time in my day to get everything done (and do it well - that's the OCD in me!) The balance of fitting this job into my already full life was seeming to be a HUGE challenge for me. I've since been able to sorta "grow out" of the growing pains of the job (I've had it for almost 9 months now, you'd think this would have happened a long time ago! Anyways...)

During this season of discomfort, as I questioned if I would be able to stay at this job, I found myself trying to discover within myself other ways I could bring home some bacon. ;) And here's what I came up with. At this point, nothing is going to take the place of my secure job, BUT, for now, I'm enjoying my crafty side!

I even opened up an Etsy store! It's been fun. Except when I burned two fingers with the hot glue gun...we'll save that story for another time & place! Ha!

He Will Fight For You

2011-11-08T16:03:00.000-08:00

You know those times when you come across a Scripture verse and you question if that's really a legitimate verse? This was me today. I was on Pinterest (my new fave website-lots of fun inspiration) and someone posted this picture/verse:
I thought for a moment and found myself asking "Is this really what Exodus 14:14 says?!?" So I pulled up the ever-so-handy Bible Gateway.com (cause I didn't have my own Bible with me) and sure enough, that's exactly what it says. How have I never heard this verse before?! I'm sure you can relate! When you come across a verse that hits you like a ton of bricks you can't help but think, "Why am I just now reading this?!"

As I dug a little deeper and read all of chapter 14 I realised I was more familiar with this than I thought! I bet you are too :)! This verse sits smack dab in the middle of the story of the parting of the Red Sea. Moses & the Israelites have fled and Pharoah is now after them. He has enlisted "...six hundred of the best chariots, along with all the other chariots of Egypt, with officers over all of them." (14:7)

As soon as the Israelites saw the Egyptian army approaching, they freaked! They began to question Moses (their leader) and ask, "Why didn't you let us just stay in Egypt? It would have been better to stay there and live than die here in the desert." And Moses answers them with this...drum roll please...

"Don't be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Ex. 14:13&14)

Oh, right. Just be still as this enormous army is right on our tails ready to kill us for fleeing their captivity. Right, Moses...anything you say. That *might* have been my response had I been there...just a hunch.

Then the Lord proceeds to perform one of the most spectacular miracles; one we've seen portrayed time and time again in Sunday School lessons, cartoon videos and even paintings...the Lord tells Moses to lift up his staff (basically a stick) and stretch out his hand and divide the waters so the Israelites can walk on dry land and cross the sea. Uhhh, amazing. Can't even imagine how incredible and difficult it would have been to trust that first, the water would actually do that and second, that it would STAY like that until they all finished crossing! The story ends in further victory. The Lord makes the waters "flow back" on to the Egyptians so they can't reach the Israelites and not one lives.

So let me tell you what hit me today and why I wanted to recount this incredible story in Christian history:

There are (and will be) "Egyptians" that come at us every day. They will try and discourage, enslave, rule us. Be it a person, addiction, struggle, frustration, even choices we're faced with. And satan will do whatever he can to get as close to us as possible. And just as we are about to question God asking Him, "Why did You do this to me OR why me OR how come..." take a moment and declare,

I will not be afraid.

I will stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord has for me today.

The "Egyptians" I see today I will never see again.

The Lord will FIGHT FOR ME!

And I will be still.

Thank you, Lord, that stories and miracles we read about in the Old Testament can be applied to our lives today! Your Word says you are "the same yesterday, today and forever." What hope that gives us. Thank you. Amen.

God's Story, Not Mine

2011-09-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

The beauty of a blog to me is, as you have things to share, there is a place to share it. So here I am, with a bit to share and I don't really even know how to start! :) When I first started composing this entry, I had "Oh goodness" as my first 2 words. I quickly realized that was way over-dramatic and decided to go a different route. You're welcome. ;)

These past few weeks I have been in the midst of a contest. I don't usually have the chance to listen to Spirit 105.3 (I'm rarely in the car-and even then it's for a few short minutes!). I heard through a friend about a contest they were having for local artists. Last year they had the same contest and I entered a song I wrote, but didn't get chosen to go on to the next round. No hard feelings (ok, maybe a little sting...) but nothing lost in entering, right?! So this year rolls around and like I said, a friend mentioned it to me. What do I do after hearing about it? I forget. Not like I don't have anything else to think about...

So the day before the contest entry deadline, I find myself scrambling. I didn't want to enter the same song I had the year before (the one that didn't get chosen)! I had just begun to learn GarageBand-a program that comes standard on our Mac computer. It is quite the program and has TONS of options for at home recording...if you can figure it out! Thankfully, I'm married to a sound man (which is quite useful as a singer!)...so he helped me out...big time! Thanks babe!

So he & I worked in our "spare time" over the next day getting the song to the best place we could get it in that short of time. I was satisfied with it and by that point was just ready to get it out of my hands! ;) So about an hour short of the entry deadline, the song was finally submitted! Talk about cutting it close...!

A week went by...a long week...and finally it was Friday! I was sitting at my desk. For those of you who don't know, I work a front desk job every afternoon at a local engineering firm. The firm is small & quiet. Very quiet. Well, I saw a call coming through to my phone, but I couldn't answer it-cause it's quiet, remember? It didn't even cross my mind that this local number would be the station calling me-otherwise I would have answered!!! But thankfully, they also emailed the Top 10 finalists as well. So here I was sitting at my desk, literally squeeling (internally)! I couldn't hold it in-I had to call Ryan. So I went into the restroom and called him-it was kinda like a movie... :)

That was just a little over 2 weeks ago. What a roller coaster.

Longest. Two. Weeks. Ever.

And honestly, it was emotional. You are so excited and want to share your news with everyone, but fear you'll annoy people in the process. You want to be confindent in the areas you know you're talented in, but don't want to come across as arrogant and self-centered...

Thankfully, there's the impersonal, yet way too personal, facebook. It allowed me to tell people about it and not be too obtrusive :)...

So here I am. I made it past the Top 10 and into the Top 6. I will now go head-to-head against what I consider to be the toughest compeditor: Puyallup Fourquare's, Generation Youth Band. But, I will keep my head held high and continue to take one step at a time, walking boldly and confidently!

I hesitated to even share this as a blog post, but it's kind of a fun story to tell, so I went for it! My prayer through this whole thing has been and will continue to be this:

"God, you are the One writing my story. Forgive me if I try and take over. Your will not mine, Your plans not mine."

Follow along with the contest on Spirit1053.com

Feet to the Ground...Running

2011-07-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

Factoid about Emily #1: I’m not a runner. However, I always wished I was. This was me in P.E.: on the days we had to run the mile (some of you know how dreadful those days were!), I would run the first lap, and then walk the remaining 3 laps. Everyone would be done WAY before me and I stayed behind. I was never motivated to finish the fastest, or even in the middle. I just couldn’t stand the way running made me feel. My knees hurt, I would get all phlegm-y and my chest would tighten up…I was a really hot mess! So, I never really pushed myself.

I was like that with a lot of things. I lacked a bit of passion to excel at something. There were things I was good at, but I never really took those interests to the next level.

Now I find myself at 27 wishing I had pushed myself harder. Wishing I had stuck those piano lessons out…wishing I had continued to write music during the 5 years I didn’t…and the list goes on. But here I am, desiring to step out, in faith, knowing God has gifted me and can redeem my lack of passion and put a new fire under me to get me going!

I find myself taking a lot of music gigs right now. I get a bit overwhelmed sometimes, wondering if it’s a good idea to run with this sort of thing. I find myself questioning if I’m being selfish. But I hold tight to a word the Lord gave me through my pastor a few years ago (I’ll paraphrase) “Step out in the gifts you have been given and LOOK for opportunities to share those gifts.” I started another blog dedicated to my music & to helping others with resources I’ve found helpful. *Feel free to pass it along to those who you think might enjoy/benefit from it! My hope is that it will bring a bit of fire to the unlit passion you too may be experiencing.
So let’s RUN...

Humbly,
Emily

The Kids Are Growing...

2011-07-15T14:22:00.001-07:00

Well, I knew this day would come. But you never really know what it's gonna feel like until it hits ya...like a HUGE TON OF BRICKS: The kids are growing up. I know, I know...the feelings will only continue to worsen as time flies. But today the feeling stems from this: The girls got their first mail today. From their new teacher, Miss Jacii. She will be their preschool teacher this fall! When I showed them the package their little voices squeeled with excitement. It was just precious. Almost every day they ask me, "Is it time to go to school yet, Mama?" "No," I reply. "Not yet."

I find them in their room sometimes during quiet time pretending to "go to school" (it's either that or Costco-those are the 2 places they go during pretend time-heehee!) We have this Dora backpack that was given to us (mind you we only have 1) and one of the girls will come out of their room with it on (nearly sagging to the ground cause it's WAY too big for them) and they proudly announce, "I'm going to school...see ya later!"

Ah, how time flies. I feel like I say that all the time now and I know I'll be saying it for the next 60 years! :) I truly know how my parents have felt all this time...

So, here's to a new season of life that it just around the corner. A bit a freedom for this busy Mama, with some sadness mixed in as well! *sniff sniff*

Music Blog

2011-06-24T14:02:00.001-07:00

Ok, I have to admit, what I'm about to share with you has taken me months & months to process. I've gone back & forth trying to figure out if starting a blog dedicated to my music was something I should do. "Why did it take so long to decide?", you ask...well, all too often in life (and especially in ministry), someone who appears to be promoting themselves comes across as arrogant and self-centered...and I don't want people to think that way about me! It's definitely not my heart. And for those of you who don't know me, you may have to discern for yourself through my posts and through my music where you think my heart is. I officially give you permission to discern...not judge...just discern :). After all, this isn't an episode of American Idol.

So, after waiting, I've decided to step out and share with you. Dreams, visions, thoughts on worship, leading worship, offer resources for worship leaders, share with you how I feel the Lord has called me to use my music in & around my community...and so on. Hopefully you get the idea! And hopefully you'll share this blog with those who you think might benefit from it...cause that's truly my heart: to pour back into others what I feel has been poured into me.

Without further adieu, I present to you...Emily Brotherton Music...enjoy!

Love,

Legacy

2011-03-27T22:16:00.000-07:00

Life is so fragile. So fleeting. Time passes quickly while we wished it moved slowly. I remember being in grade school and wishing I could be an "adult". Couldn't wait to get married, have kids, be my own boss :), drive a car, stay up late...you know what I mean. Here I am, almost 27 (still young, yes, I know) but I find myself wishing I could slow time down a few notches. Sleep in, not have any bills to pay, no cares in the world other than what homework assignment I had procrastinated...and so on! Again, you know what I mean :).

I wanted to post this picture-it's really quite special. It's of my Grandparents and my brother & sister-in-law's baby, Katherine Joy. We were able to host a baby shower for them a few months back. We were unsure if Grandpa would be able to join us as his health had been deteriorating. But like the amazingly strong man he was, he came. Face smiling despite the internal pain we all knew he was feeling. He had to be there. He lived for these moments. We all knew what joy was brought to him when he was able to hold sweet Katherine. When you're at a stage of life like he was (not knowing if it was going to be your last chance to hug or kiss your loved ones) you made the most of it. And we made the most of these times too. A few weeks ago, Grandpa went to be with Jesus. In the quiet of an evening, as those gathered softly sang some of his favorite hymns, he slipped peacefully into eternity with his Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. Into Heaven, where he now is rejoicing, singing, laughing, probably fixing something, and no longer in pain!

On Saturday, we celebrated his life with a memorial service. It was wonderful-truly an extention of himself. At one point in the service, a fire chief presented my Grandma with his fire-fighting helmet: #32. At another point, his 5 children each spoke of the love & dedication he had towards not only his family, but his community. He was truly an unsung hero who was finally being "sung" about. What a perfect place to do so, as we remembered his life-and what a beautiful legacy he left. I hope I can leave a legacy like his.

Just. Be.

2011-01-21T21:41:00.000-08:00

Life can get so hectic sometimes. I so easily lose focus and get bogged down by day to day stuff. I lose sight of the end goal, which is to love God and love people. Now, I know God cares about the little in between things, but I sense His challenge to look up and beyond today's worries. To look outside my own life and into the lives of those around me. I am loving the time I have when I get outside the walls of my house and go to work at a local retail store. It challenges me to be God's hands and feet in small, tangible ways. My attitude, work ethic, speech, actions, even my smile...are all small, but real ways God can use to show Himself to others around me. I don't get many opportunities to talk about God to my co-workers or especially customers. The shifts are busy and rarely do I find myself sitting on break with someone who's wanting to chat :). So it really is the small actions that I have to trust the Lord will use. I want people to see that there's something different about me and wonder what it is...and who knows, maybe someday, someone will ask me what that is! I have already found that the guys and gals around me trust me, when I wouldn't expect trust to have been earned yet. They share bits & pieces of their lives casually in conversation-relationship troubles, family issues, kids...it's amazing how much people will share. I can only attribute this trust to the Lord.

For the past 8 years, I have worked in a Christian work environment. Don't get me wrong, these places were wonderful! And I wouldn't trade my time there for anything. But I certainly didn't interact with non-Christians very often...and let's be honest, randomly leading someone to Christ at the grocery store just doesn't happen (at least not in my world). So here I am-working a job that on one hand drives me nuts (just juggling being a mom & working is tough-I'm sure you understand!), but on the other hand is a great joy. I am learning through this job to just be. Just be me. God's love has changed my life and I now have a new way of sharing His love with the people I come into contact with at this workplace-be it co-workers or customers.

Smile. Care. Go the extra mile. Listen. Work hard.

(No, this is not from a motivational book :), but just a few practical (& Biblical) ways we can show the love of God to those around us.

Santa's BEST Helpers

2010-12-21T15:49:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, friends!

Love, Emily

{Season's Greetings}

2010-12-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

I always have WAY too much fun with Picnik and this year's Christmas card was no exception. I wish I could send a real one to all our friends & family, but it adds up, right?! I thought I would also take a moment to write a little "update" from the Brotherton household-cause that's sorta what you do in a Christmas card! :)

This year has been a full year for us-full of new experiences, lots of changes, some goodbyes and some hellos. This is going to sound like an oxi-moron, but bear with me. This summer, we made one of the most difficult, yet easy decisions of our lives so far. We switched churches. Now, for those of you who have made a switch like that at some point in your life, you will understand what I mean. It is so difficult to leave a family-a community-of people who have loved and supported you over a period of time. In the course of being at Westgate, Ryan & I were married, changed jobs, served on staff, prayed for kids, had 2 kids :), & so much more! Ryan had attended for nearly 10 years! What wonderful memories we both have, and of course, will never forget! Now, here's what I mean when I say it was one of the easiest decisions...we knew it was what the Lord was asking us to do. We had peace (which is HUGE in times of change), and we had a vision of where the Lord wanted to take us. So there was no denying it was time to move on, but when push comes to shove, it's never truly easy.

We ended up rolling down the hill (almost literally!) to North Sound Church (still in Edmonds, our hometown) and have begun to settle in there. I'm grateful to have opportunities to sing on the worship team every now & then, and we've also been helping out with their youth & young adults. We're really enjoying meeting new people, but are also grateful we are still close by to family & friends!!!

Ryan is still cleaning carpets with our business, SnoKing Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning. We are so grateful for having such a great community around us who helps spread the word about the company. {Shameless Plug}: If you are needing to have your carpets cleaned, or maybe you've got a couch that could use a bit of sprucing up, call us! 206-801-0161 {End Shameless Plug}

Ryan has also been keeping busy with a side job for a bread distributing company that distributes bread to the local Costco. Dave's Killer Bread (yum!) & others. He's really loving being on a different side of the grocery business, after all his years at Safeway!

For me, life has continued to be nice & full. The girls keep me entertained and get me great exercise! I have been focusing on writing a lot this year. Mostly music-although this blog gets some attention too :). I was able to go to a musician's summit in November and attend multiple songwriting seminars and was really challenged & motivated to keep on polishing & practicing my writing. So hopefully 2011 will be filled with more songs-I look forward to sharing them with you!

As if raising twins wasn't crazy enough, I decided I wanted to get a job. : ) I'm liking it, but I'm obviously new to the retail world cause who in their right mind would work retail for the holidays?!? :) Anyways, I'm actually really enjoying getting out of my 4 walls and into an environment that allows me to be Christ's hands & feet in a new way. It's been a growing time and I know the Lord is just beginning!

Last, but certainly not least, Miss Evelyn & Miss Eleanor. The two most precious, hysterical, lovely twins around! This has been such a fun-filled year! We laugh more and more every day. Silly phrases, silly songs, serious Freudian slips & serious musical duets keep us entertained. We are so blessed!

This has gotten long, so if you're still here reading, thank you! :) To end, here are some pictures from the "snow storm" we had a few weeks ago-the girls were in heaven!

Love, The Brothertons

Time to Stand Tall

2010-12-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

Is it weird that I'm finding inspiration today by one of my own songs? :) I find that it's challenging me in ways I didn't expect-as if it's someone else's song. But I'm being gently reminded that it's not a song I wrote-instead, it was inspired by the Holy Spirit and ultimately written by Him. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that I'm being challenged & inspired by it!

If you're anything like me, sometimes life's "stuff" comes to a head and you realize you've been trying to handle things in your own strength. And you know what? It's tiring! Cleaning house, raising kids, trying to keep your marriage strong, friendships, family, church...you see what I'm getting at! Life is full-and I often find myself acting on my own strength (as though I can accomplish things much more effectively than the Lord-ha, I'm SO human, right?!)

So today, I take a deep breath and ask the Lord to take my burdens and "give life to these dry, dry bones" (a line from the song, if you're not familiar with it). Let's stand tall and firm today-relying on God's strength, not our own. If we stand tall through the every day stuff, I believe He gives us even more strength to stand firm on the foundation of our salvation through even the toughest of trials!

May Jesus encourage you today as you strive to stand tall on His firm foundation! Wanna listen to the song, Stand Tall? Click here... (you will want to pause the music player that's at the bottom of my blog) :)

Love,

Emily

Just because I love them so...

2010-12-05T14:08:00.001-08:00

I am, understandably, partial to these two beauties. They make my life oh so entertaining! :) If you don't believe me, watch this video!

We're kind of in la la land at our house these days. Life has been so busy that I've barely got a few Christmas decorations up. We've decided to not do a tree this year...I know, I know...bah humbug, I guess. No, I'm not really bah humbug-ing, I just don't feel like having a tree with 2 very curious toddlers running (and I truly mean running!) around. I drove by a tree lot yesterday and saw a sweet little Charlie Brown one, but even a small one would be ever so tempting for those two. Oh well, we'll be sure to take pictures of them in front of other people's trees!

I'm almost done with our Christmas card & note. It will be coming in blog form this year, so keep your eyes open :).

~Emily

What Is Worship?

2010-11-21T14:55:00.000-08:00

I've been wrestling with some thoughts on worship today. Trying to figure out if what the Lord is challenging me with is just for me, or if it's something for us all. By this blog post, I guess you can tell I'm prompted to share my convictions and just allow the Lord to do His part in your life from here :).

As I sat down for my devotion time this morning, I'll sheepishly admit, I just thumbed through the Bible to a Psalm and started reading. No rhyme or reason, but I always can count on Psalms-you know what I mean? I've always wished I was better at sticking to a Bible reading plan, but for now, I'm a bit of a "Scanner of Scripture". Anyways, despite my lack of reading structure, the Lord is always faithful to reveal something to me-be it small or bit, one verse or many. Today was this:

"Come, let's shout praises to God, raise the roof for the Rock who saved us!

Let's march into his presence singing praises,

lifting the rafters with our hymns!

^3-5 And why? Because God is the best,

High King over all the gods.

In one hand he holds deep caves and caverns,

in the other hand grasps the high mountains.

He made Ocean—he owns it!

His hands sculpted Earth!

^6-7 So come, let us worship: bow before him,

on your knees before God, who made us!

Oh yes, he's our God,

and we're the people he pastures, the flock he feeds."

- Psalm 98: 1-7

As I read this I wondered, "Why don't I SHOUT praises to God? Or RAISE THE ROOF for the Rock who saved me? Or MARCH into His presence singing praises?" Why does our worship today look so different from how David describes it over and over again in the Psalms?

My conclusion?

We're too scared.

Scared of what though?

Scared of looking dumb.

Even now as I type that I realize how selfish of an answer that really is. I've now made worshipping the King of Kings & Creator of the universe all about me...my wants...my fears...my worries...my agenda. Worship should not be boxed in by a denomination or music style. Worship is worship. Now that doesn't mean worship is always shouting or marching. Somehow we've associated those actions to denominations-saying, "Oh, well, that's what crazy Pentecostals do." Or, "Because I'm a Baptist, I don't raise my hands in worship."

Let's cut that stuff out, friends! Let's stop making worship so inward focused. If we truly desired to worship our Creator for who He is, I don't think we'd be hung up by our own insecurities, pre-conceived notions & denominational boundaries. Worship is such a sacred and holy time for us as believers to thank the Lord, love on the Lord, praise Him for what He's done in & through us...and in turn...be changed from the inside out.

I bet each of us can name one (or even many) times when in the presence of the Lord we had a life-altering encounter with Him. You know that time, don't you? Those times are unforgettable! But those times were not times when you stood with your body's demeanor closed off and shut down...those were times where you allowed the Lord to speak to you by opening yourself up to Him-whether by bowing down, stretching your arms up to Him in surrender or opening your mouth, even if just a little. Worship IS a two-way street. Yes, He can speak to us even in times where we don't expect Him to, but I know that once His voice reaches your heart, you're forever changed!

So let me challenge you, as I'm being challenged myself, to stop making worship about doing this or not doing that...let's JUST WORSHIP. "In Spirit & in truth", right?! Be blessed as you challenge yourself to begin to step out of your comfort zone and into His freedom in worship!

"I come with open arms, reaching for where You are

Just a glimpse of Your face, & forever I'm changed...

You see me as I am, broken with empty hands

Pour generously, & forever I'm changed..."

- Forever I'm Changed - to listen to this song, click here

Incredible Miracles

2010-10-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

The Lord answered the silliest prayer of mine today. No joke, about 2 weeks ago, I was standing at my kitchen window and prayed, "Lord, I would really love to have a friend who has twins...someone I can share this journey with." Simple prayer, said probably too casually. But what does He do? He does a miracle!!! My good friends Joe & Katie are expecting twins!!! Don't worry, I'm not spoiling their news-they announced it today on facebook :). Would you pray with us for protection & continued health over these precious miracles? When Ryan & I found out we were having twins, a lady told us her take on why so many twins were being born. She said, "The Lord is making up for abortions with twins." Now, I realize there's no biblical truth to that, but, think about it. It's actually a really beautiful thought. So, YAY FOR TWINS!!! And congrats to Joe & Katie!!!

I also want to say something else really quickly before ending this blog of celebration. If you are reading this blog and find yourself saddened, just know that the Lord has not forgotten about you. Yes, you! I've shared this a few times throughout my blogging history, but remember my story about wanting to have a baby? Two years of unsuccessful trying, only to have our socks blown off by two incredible miracles. I know that there are those out there who have been trying for more than two years and I can only begin to imagine how discouraged you may be feeling. But remember, His thoughts are higher than yours...His words are deeper...and His ways stronger. One of the most difficult, yet healing things to do during this season is: be happy for those who are expecting. I know, you probably read that and thought, "Really? But you don't know how hard it is!" Oh, I do! But you know what? The Lord rewards those who strive to be genuinely happy for others when it's not easy. Be on the lookout for the good that will come from your heartache cause the Lord is in the miracle business!

Flying High

2010-10-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

*Pics taken with my phone - amazing nonetheless!

On a recent flight, I was so inspired by the in-flight entertainment (no, it wasn't the movie) that I wrote this:

My eyes behold the beauty.

The Wonder.

Your Majesty in form before me-

awestruck to the core.

The clouds; stumbling for the perfect words.

The lakes below; glisten & glimmer

as the orange summer sun sets softly upon them.

Soaring higher still-just lost sight of below.

I imagine I'm a bird, flying carelessly about.

And suppose the bird's flight gets somewhat turbulent, just like mine.

As we ride just above the clouds, I gaze out...

As far as my tiny eyes can see.

It's as though I'm gazing into eternity.

Glorious perfection.

The clouds emulate billows of smoke.

Oh, look!

There's one I'd like to use as a pillow!

And another shaped as a glacier.

Is that one a bunny? Nah.

Incredible to think-

This same formation will not be here tomorrow,

or the next, or the next.

It was made just for me to see.

"Filled with wonder,

awestruck wonder..."

Birthday Fun

2010-10-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

Just a little collage I put together on Picnik to show you some of the birthday fun we had this past weekend celebrating the girls! Nothing like cupcakes & presents - we are blessed! Hope you had an awesome week...enjoy your weekend!!!

Fresh Inspiration

2010-09-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

When I first started this blog, I chose to base it on my favorite verse, James 1:2 & 3. Little did I know, I would be challenged by it stronger than ever before. Once I made that verse a public personal motto, it was like a big red bulls-eye was right on my forehead. Here's how the verse is interpreted by Eugene Peterson in, The Message:

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows it's true colors. So don't try and get out of anything prematurely. Let it do it's work so you become mature and well developed, not deficient in any way."

Ahhh, just writing it challenges me! I read it over and over again and have to force myself to say, "Yes, this is possible...but only in Christ. Cause on my own, I fall seriously short!"

But as I ponder each verse, I come up with this equation:

TRIALS+PERSEVERING=MATURITY IN CHRIST

When I break it down, I realize, I can do that! The Lord wants to see us come out on top. He loves us enough to make good out of bad. That's our God! The One who doesn't leave us hanging, stranded or alone. Instead, He give us the strength to make it through the hardest of hard times, and then gives us a beautiful gift of spiritual maturity that we didn't have before the trial. Gee, thanks God...you ROCK!

Hey, I know it's hard to think of a rough patch in life as a gift from God. Been there too! And am still there sometimes! I know that as soon as I post this entry, the spiritual warfare will begin. As soon as we declare joy or strength in our weakness, Satan wants nothing more than to tear that down, little by little, till we find ourselves doubting and wallowing in our despair. Well, let's declare together that Satan has no place to speak over our lives (especially our trials!)...cause those trials belong to Christ!

Let Him help you surrender your trials and heartache to Him so you can come out on TOP, "mature and well developed"!

I Believe

2010-09-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

A lifetime of putting on a smile

wonder if it's all been worth the while

Doubt creeps inside of me

Wondering if I believe...

Yet words flow like honey off my lips

My heart sinks when I think of it

My mind's a carousel

Spinning round and round...

It all seems impossible, do I believe?

Don't wanna get my hopes up too high

Cause they could collide in an instant

Don't wanna open my eyes

For fear of waking the infant in me.

A childlike faith seems so freeing

Yet a childlike faith doesn't come to me...

--------------

Deep down I know that You are right

Your Word is true, You are my Light

Why do I question You?

My faith is small.

A mustard seed is all that I will need

To move the mount in front of me

Lord give me more of You

Place me right next to You...

Nothing's impossible, when I believe...

Now I wanna get my hopes up so high

That they will collide in an instant

I wanna open my eyes

and wake the passionate infant in me

A childlike faith has come to free me

And a childlike faith came so easy...

Now I believe, I believe, I believe.

These are words from a new song I'm in process of writing. It was inspired by my own life experience. It's easy when you grow up in a Christian home to sorta "assume" the same beliefs and values as your parents-it's all you've known & seen. But there comes a time when the decision is made to make the beliefs, values & morals that were demonstrated to you become your own. And really, that's the moment when I truly knew Jesus. It doesn't mean there won't be times of questioning and wondering, but it was the new beginning to my journey in my relationship with Jesus Christ. Now I believe...

2x2x2x2x2=Proud Mama

2010-09-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today is a day full of 2's. 2 girls are turning 2 years old. 2 of everything will follow - 2 cakes, 2 presents, 2 hugs...well, you get the picture.

I get how my mom felt all those times when I heard her say "time flies"! I feel it...and now I find myself thinking, "In 13 years, the girls will want to get their driver's license...and then they will want to date..." I know, let's not get too ahead of ourselves : ). So, I'll do my very best to enjoy life now. This will be a full year - potty training, big girl beds, dressing themselves, more independence...so much to get ready for! Pray for me - I'll need it! : )

Today I can look back on the difficult season of life we persevered through while trying to get pregnant and I can see how we are better because of the trial. "Bad circumstances have a way of bringing the best out of us." (Mark Batterson, In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day) I am also reminded of the verse that inspired this blog in the first place: James 1: 2-4 "Consider it pure joy...whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

The Call to Chase.....Lions?

2010-09-18T12:50:00.000-07:00

I just started a new book. It was so strongly recommended that I almost wanted to put off reading it. That sounds strange, I know, but I could tell the recommendation came with a string attached-it would be a life-altering-kick-you-into-gear read. And it has been. I'm only a quarter of the way through and my heart is being challenged like never before. Here is a quote to give you just a glimpse of the gems that you'll receive if you choose to take on Matt Batterson's, In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day:

"Goodness is not the absence of badness. You can do nothing wrong and still do nothing right. Our calling is much higher than simply running away from what's wrong. We're called to chase lions-look for opportunities in our problems and obstacles, and take risks to reach for God's best." (pg. 19)

Another...

"Spiritual maturity is seeing and seizing God-ordained opportunities." (pg. 19)

Is your interest peaked? Well, it should be! Maybe it's just where God is leading Ryan & I right now that has me glued to this book, but Batterson is quick to point out that each of us need to be looking for "God-ordained opportunities". They will stretch us, grow us, mature us and help us to understand how BIG our God truly is.

I'm pumped up about this...if you couldn't already tell :)! Let's be willing to look foolish for the glory of God. Let's be willing to "put ourselves out there" in ways we thought we never would!

As I end this post, I pray the Lord would encourage and strengthen you today and you as you prepare to face lions you never dreamed you could face!

Love,

Emily

Nothing But The Blood

2010-09-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

Even when my heart knows that change brought to my life in the form of a new season is good, my mind & spirit sometimes end up kicking & screaming. I guess I can admit I've been on somewhat of an emotional roller coaster this summer. Deciding to leave our home church was one of the most difficult decisions Ryan & I have had to make thus far in our marriage. It meant putting our friendships on the line, leaving the ministries we've both put our heart & lives into, and so much more. But through it all, the Lord has been so faithful. Not sure why I ever doubted Him, but I did.

Today I was gently reminded that yes, He cares about what I'm feeling and where the next step for our family will lead, and it all boils down to His love for me. What can wash away my doubt & fears for today & tomorrow? What can make my life whole again after such a drastic life change? Nothing but Jesus' precious blood. This song gave me such peace today and I wanted to share it with you.

Assessing 1-2-3...

2010-09-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

For those of you interested, I've decided to make my next blog about the assessment we just returned home from late last week. Wow, what a ride! Enlightening, challenging, stretching, growing, encouraging...just a few adjectives to describe our unforgettable week. This may be long, so bear with me : )...

When we arrived at Grace Fellowship, the host church, my stomach was in such a knot! My mind full of expectations, yet had no clue what to expect. As we walked up the stairs, we could hear others chatting and my inner hermit began to want nothing more than to sink deep into my shell! But I persevered and instantly, the Lord gave me a friend. Another wife, around my age, who was warm and friendly and we began an easy conversation. "Whew, thank's Lord..." was all I could say. All the couples were friendly and eager to make the rounds and shake hands-we were grateful! Interestingly enough, the assessors were assessing from the very moment we walked up those stairs; watching how we interacted with each other and our spouse-there was never a dull moment!

As we all made our way into the main meeting room, the whirlwind began. Introductions of each couple and each assessor gave us an idea of who we would spend the next intense 4 days with. After the intros, we were quickly catapulted into the first assignment. Ryan (each guy) had been asked to prepare a 10 minute mini-sermon. Ryan did great (I'm partial of course) and I was probably more nervous than he was! After his sermon they called me to the front to join him for some Q & A's. They also asked us to share 5 adjectives to describe each other - fun to hear what the other would say : ). Towards the end of the day, Ryan then presented his Philosophy of Ministry to another group of assessors, again followed by the two of us participating in some grueling Q & A's. I say grueling, but mostly it was challenging. They asked very poignant questions to get to the very heart of your calling as a couple-it was very good to say the least!

The next day was spent split off into smaller groups (spouses separated) doing activities. The main goal was to see the different personalities come out. The assessors were taking notes the whole time about how we interacted with each other-in the end, great exercises to help us learn to better communicate and identify others' strengths. Speaking of strengths, I'll end with this. Before going to the assessment, the assessment group gave both Ryan & I 3 different personality/strength finder survey's to fill out. One was the Golden (basically Meyers Briggs on steroids), D.I.S.C, & the Clifton Strengths Finder. The strength finder was by far the most insightful for me. It helps you identify your top 5 strengths. And honestly, I was surprised. It identified areas in my life that were completely untapped. But I'm thrilled because they are areas I've always felt called to explore more deeply, but kept second guessing myself. I won't do that again-too much wasted time! If you are interested, I can't encourage you enough to get a hold of one of the strength finder books-in each book is a code to give you access to take the survey for yourself...SOOO good!!!

Here is a link to their books & website for more info.

All in all, an amazing week away. We did end the week with a "result" so to speak. There was only one way they look at the end results: are you the right person for the lead pastor in a church plant. Not, are you fit for ministry or are would you make a good pastor. The 4 outcomes are:

Recommended-yes, you have the building blocks necessary to plant a church and are ready, but we encourage you to still make sure this is what the Lord is calling you & your family to do.

Recommend w/ Conditions-you have most of the building blocks, but should take the next 6-12 months to work on some of the suggestions they give you.

Recommended w/ Strong Conditions-Take 2 years off and really seek counsel and the Lord's heart for your next step.

Not Recommended-you're not the right fit to be the lead pastor of a church plant.

We were Recommended with Conditions, which is where we thought/hoped we would be. We have some areas to pray through and walk through but we're excited to see what the next few years have in store. Thanks for reading!

~Emily

When You Don't Obey

2010-09-04T19:12:00.000-07:00

Today, my 90-something year old neighbor passed away. I never met her. Her sweet husband, Fred (or Neighbor Fred as the girls call him) is always good for a conversation across the fence. He loves to know how the girls are. He tells great war stories-served in WWII and loved hearing about Ryan's trip to Germany as he was in most of the same places serving our country. Not only was he devoted to his country, but he was devoted to his sweetheart of nearly 65 years. Virginia has been house bound ever since we moved next door. And today, she quietly left this world and her Fred behind. The worst part about her passing is the uncertainty of where she will spend her eternity. I just don't know. My heart was heavy all day. When the aid car pulled into their driveway, I was bringing groceries into the house...and I just knew.

On my flight home from Minnesota Thursday night, I wrote in my journal about Fred & Virginia. At our Church Planter's Assessment this past week, I was freshly challenged to reach my neighbors in a new way. I wrote down a few ideas I had about practical ways I could serve them. I'm disappointed I didn't act sooner. The Lord had been subtly prompting me ("bring them flowers" or "bring them extra muffins") but I was way too caught up in my own needs that I keep ignoring the call. I can't beat myself up for it, but the reality is, I disobeyed the voice of the Lord. Living in guilt won't serve Fred. So instead, we now know exactly how we can be Jesus' hands and feet to sweet Fred.

How can you serve your neighbors today? Do you really know what their true needs are? I'm asking myself these questions too. Serving those around us in practical ways fights spiritual battles we never could on our own. I'm reminded of the verse in James 1 where he writes,

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

I now have a tangible circumstance to relate to when reading this verse. I'm going to close this blog with a quick prayer for Fred. Pray along with me if you'd like.

Heavenly Father, I lift Fred before you. You know how his heart aches tonight. Lonely, confused and hurting-would you touch his life in a special way. I know he knows of You, but I don't know if He truly knows You. Would you open his heart as we reach out to him in a new way through his loss. Especially be with him tonight-his first night alone. In Your mighty, precious, powerful name...Amen.

My Prayer

2010-08-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

O, Lord, as I embark on this journey,

This roller coaster, nail-biting, hanging on the seat of my pants journey...

Let me remain grounded in You.

May I seek Your face when I feel mine cringe of fright. Afraid of what, I don't know...maybe it's just that: the unknown.

Calm my anxious heart and let it sing of Your joy, Your strength, Your faithfulness.

I will dwell in the cleft of Your rock and You will keep me safe. But may I not hide there in hopes that reality will not come knocking at my door, rather, let me rest in You so I can find strength to face challenges I never thought I could.

I declare, "Yes, Lord, I trust You!"

You alone have been my strong tower and I will no longer put my hopes in earthly possessions or relationships. Your Word steers me to the Truth and I know deep in my heart where I need to be: with You.

For Your glory alone,

Emily

Leaving the Land of Familiar...

2010-08-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

I recently finished reading a very inspiring book. The book reminded me of who I am in Christ and who I was created to be. "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson is one to add to your list (if you've got one) and once you add it to your list, bump it up to the top. It's a quick read, but every single sentence is a gem. I would find myself wanting to make every other sentence my facebook status...that's how good it is :)! The book came to me at just the right time. Winds of change are definitely blowing our direction, and it's not always easy for me to stay focused. In the book, Bruce (I feel comfortable enough to call him by his first name-you can too), tells a story about a character named Ordinary who one day wakes up with a dream and over time, realizes he needs to leave his home, called Familiar, to pursue his dream. Well, that's exactly where Ryan & I find ourselves today. We awoke with a dream and now it's time to leave Familiar and take the leap of faith required to move forward. I'm going to share with you a bit about our dream to give you some insight into what's going on in our lives nowadays.

In June, Ryan's job ended at our church. It wasn't a bad ending or an unexpected let-go (thankfully). Instead, the Lord had been slowly preparing our hearts and when the time came for his job to officially be over, we knew it was time to move forward. "To where?" you ask...well, we don't fully know yet. But in the process of putting one foot in front of the other, we are excited about an upcoming opportunity the Lord has presented us. We are being sponsored to attend a Church Planter's Assessment next week through a national church planting association called Converge USA. We are very excited to learn, grow and listen as we see if church planting might be a part of the Lord's plan for our ministry together as a family.

Life can easily get clouded with thoughts of "me" & "mine". I am daily being challenged to ask the Lord, "What do YOU want for my life? How can I serve YOU?" If I truly believe that the Lord will provide for all my needs and if I say I walk by faith-then I have to DO it. I have to be ok breaking out of my comfortable life (my land of familiar) and pushing through to what lies ahead. My life can no longer be dictated by money and possessions-those fade away. The Lord is asking much more of His people than to live comfortable, easy lives. He is asking us to live a life ready to go when He says go; and in that obedience, we will find true fullness in life. I'm ready to break out of the norm and see what lies ahead. Won't you come with me?

You Are The One

2010-07-29T21:04:00.000-07:00

A dream lives inside of me

At times I struggle to set it free

But I know...deep down I know...

You inspire the best in me

Bringing life to set me free

And I know...deep down I know...

I'm a work in progress

Nothing more, nothing less

Living for Your highest and Your best

When the day is over

I can lay my head assured

You are the One who is in control

Yes, You are the One who is in control

This world tells sweet lies to me

Suddenly I wonder if I believe

But I know, deep down I know...

Your truth is the only way

And I cannot go a day

without You, only You...

Cause I'm a work in progress

Nothing more, nothing less

Living for Your highest and Your best

When the day is over

I can lay my head assured

You are the One who is in control

Yes, You are the One who is in control.

~Emily

2 Whole Weeks-Part II

2010-06-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well, the long, grueling, sometimes excruciating 2 weeks have almost come to a close. Ryan comes home Friday night and boy am I ready! I have found these past 2 weeks to be very enlightening. First, it has made me apprecaite single parents all the more. It's hard! Secondly, it has made my heart grow fonder-yes, I know the phrase and have heard it probably 10 times from various friends and family throughout the past few weeks. But 2 weeks has definitely been the longest apart we've ever been...and I hated every minute of it. I sat last week after watching Anne of Green Gables (I guess I needed something mushy to fill the time...and Anne & Gilbert are my favorites!) anyways, back on track...so in a moment of lonliness I wrote this thought down to Ryan, "It's amazing how in the every day "stuff", my love for you has gotten somewhat overshadowed. I've let the bad outweigh the good, the lack of money outweigh the reality that we are SO very blessed, the frustrations outweigh the love...and I'm so glad for this time away because it has revived a love in me for you that I almost didn't know existed!"

And isn't that true for most of us? It's so easy to let the daily grind become our focus. Well, I'm tired of it...I'm ready for something new! Not only in my marriage, but in my relationships with others and most importantly, with Jesus! Lord, give me a clarity of mind and focus to see beyond the "stuff" of today and love You and my family in a new and fresh way! Amen!

2 Whole Weeks

2010-06-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday morning the hubs left for 2 weeks to Germany with the Westgate youth choir. What will I do?!? That's a LONG time! In the past, I've gotten to go on these trips with the choir too, but not this year. People have asked us, "Why don't you guys take the girls?" "Are you NUTS?!?" I reply. No world traveling for us quite yet. Can you imagine traveling for that long with 2 toddlers? I'm having an anxiety attack right now just thinking about it! I know people have done it, but I also know my limits. :)

I actually do have some big plans while Ryan is away.

Plan #1:

Get Evie to sleep through the night.

I know what you're thinking. "Your almost 2 year old doesn't sleep through the night yet?!" I know, I know...it's no good! But honestly, things have been so unique with twins that I can't tackle issues the same way I would with just one baby. So here we are, the girls are 21 months (yes, I said that right...21 MONTHS!) and I'm getting ready to finally tackle a HUGE obstacle. Pray for me! It will be a rough couple of nights, but I'm confident we will all be better for it! The girls & I (Hero too!) will go next week and stay on Whidbey with my parents and I'm SO ready to get this behind us before we go!

Plan #2:

Finish/polish up a few of my songs.

I don't have much free time to sit at the piano, but over these next 2 weeks I will purpose to make time! After the girls go down for bed at night is the perfect time.

So, wish me luck as I try and keep myself busy enough to forget how lonely I am without my man around! :)

~Emily

Where Dreams Meet Reality

2010-06-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

The day the Lord births a dream in your heart is special. Even if you can't pinpoint the exact day and time, or the dream has been buried for years, you never fully forget what He spoke or the visions He gave. A few weeks ago, I had a conversation I'd never had before. A conversation about dreams. And not nighttime dreams. Deep-rooted, inspiring, God-given dreams. The ones you're almost too afraid to say out loud for fear of sounding self-righteous or arrogant.

This conversation was spurred on by the book, Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. I've never read the book, but I know I need to! (If you've read it, tell me what you think!) In talking about the gist of the book, I was asked, "So Emily, what's your dream?" I paused. I could think of something to say, but I wasn't sure if I was being 100% honest. "Singing..." I started to say. Which is true, but... "Leading worship..." I continued. Which is also true, but...

There's more. It's deeper than leading worship through singing. Yet, I can't put my finger on it. I don't know how to put it to words other than to say...it's more complex than that. More intricate than that. I suppose I could say it's, "...beyond anything I could ask or imagine..." (Eph. 3:20) But it's hard to wait. We always want to see the full picture-not glimpses of it.

Last night, my good friend Stephanie & I had the opportunity to lead worship for a concert at Edmonds Community College. We were both honored to be asked and excited that the Lord opened up this door for us. We are both in a similar place in life-both waiting and looking for opportunities to use our gifts for the furtherance of the Kingdom. She has just finished her debut album and will be releasing it Aug. 14th! Come see and support her that night at Q Cafe in Seattle! : ) She has graciously invited me to open for her that night-what an honor!!! With all that said, it's exciting to step forward and watch these opportunities allow us to see our dreams meet reality.

May the Lord bless you today as you search the deepest parts of your heart for what His dream is for your life. Look long and hard and you might be surprised as to what surfaces. You may not have even thought of this dream since you were a kid. But it's still there!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-21

Love,

Emily

A Tribute

2010-06-07T22:30:00.000-07:00

Katherine Joy Lawrence.

Katy.

Auntie Katy.

Nanny.

Friend.

Sister in Christ.

Lover of Nerds (the candy...and possibly other types of nerds).

Dutch Bliss fanatic.

NCIS freak.

Gleek (Glee fans unite!)

I would have never imagined Katy and I to have the relationship we now have today. If you would have been a fly on the wall 5 or 6 years ago, you might have thought I disliked her. Which wasn't true, but honestly, she frustrated me. She was a girl who didn't know how to live her life victoriously (and I didn't really know how to help her).

Oddly enough, she trusted me. She trusted me with deep things, with fun things, with life things. And somehow through it all, we clicked. There was never an expectation to be best friends or spend every moment together. Our friendship just was. Over the years, the Lord has brought us together through mutual friends and that allowed us to spend more time getting to know each other. And I have seen a life changed. She is no longer the girl struggling to life her life in God's freedom. She is no longer the girl worried about what others might think of her. She is a woman shaped by the hand of God. Living day-by-day in His grace; knowing that He is her ROCK!

Back in September when Katy agreed to live with us and help watch the girls so I could go back to work, my life was changed. I didn't want to go back to work, but I needed to. That's hard. There are a lot of emotions tied in with leaving your babies every day. But Katy made it easier. I knew I could trust her. I knew she would be mom to my girls while I was away. That she would love them like I would love them and care for them like I would care for them. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Tomorrow, Katy will leave our family. She will be traveling through Europe for the summer and then possibly be in another state in the fall. (If you don't see me for a while, check the mental institute, I might be there.) All joking aside,

I WILL MISS HER!!!!!!!!!!!

She has been my rock through these past 9 months. She has blessed me (us I should say) beyond what I can express with words. So, Auntie Katy, this blog entry is a tribute to you. Thank you for being such a huge blessing to our family! We love you very, very, very much!

Love always,
Ryan, Emily, Evie, Ella & Hero too!!!

There Can Only Be One...

2010-05-28T11:41:00.001-07:00

I've never really followed Natalie Grant's music career...never really listened to much of her music. I'm familiar with some, but don't own any cds. Over the years, I have heard a lot about her, as my husband's claim-to-fame is that he was her "back-up singer" (ha) in Shoreline Community Church's youth choir, Destiny. Really, he and 100 others were her back-up singers through the years. But I'll give it to him, it is fun to tell people about!

Anyways, I kinda became recently fascinated with her...not in a crazy/stalker way, but in a "wow, I never realized how much we have in common" way.

First, we sing (let's get the obvious out of the way).

Second, we're both from the Seattle area.

Third, we both have twin girls...that aren't identical.

Fourth, we both know Ryan...ok, too far-fetched, but kinda funny!

Ok, so that's all that we have in common, but I think it's fun that I share those things in common with her...especially the twin girl one. I think her girls are probably a year older than Evie & Ella. So now, I'm determined to meet her one day. I think we'd have a lot to talk about.

Last year, I auditioned for a show called "Gospel Dream". It was super cheesy, but I thought it would be interesting to at least try. Natalie's manager, Mitchell something-or-other was the producer of the show and the one who I sang for. Looking back, I completely botched the audition. The first song I sang I felt pretty good about. Then, he asked me to sing something else. He asked me which Christian female artists I liked...I didn't have a clue. Honestly, I don't really have any favorites. So out of my mouth pops, "Natalie Grant". His reaction to me naming Natalie was, "Ok, great, I love Natalie! What song of hers would you like to sing?" I only have 1 song of hers memorized, one I've sang in church a few times, so that was the one I chose. When he asked me which one I would be singing, his response was, "Great! That's my favorite song of hers!" Um...no pressure!!!!!!! Needless to say, they didn't call me back for any further auditions (which after watching a few episodes of the show months later, I wasn't disappointed about).

What I just realized is this: there can only be one Natalie Grant. And if they were looking for the next Natalie, I'm certainly not it. We may have too much in common! : )

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

I have had the honor of being a mom for...well, 3 years now. The first, I was hobbling around at 6 months pregnant. The second, tired, yet pleasantly optimistic, with 8 month olds. The third I will celebrate tomorrow with rambunctious, adorable, mischievous, loving, chatter-box, 19 month olds! Wow...where has the time gone? And for me, Mother's Day also means my birthday is right around the corner. Last year, I shared my birthday with Mother's Day (that happens every once in a blue moon!). So on Monday, I will turn 26.

2.6.

I'm not ready.

I told a friend the other day that this now means I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20. I still think I'm in high school sometimes! 26. Ok, I can do this...breathing...still breathing...

I am so many things in my life. A mom, wife, daughter, friend, secretary...and the list goes on and on...and as I find myself at 26, mom of the two most beautiful girls, wife to one great guy who loves me so much, I pray that I would continue to strive to be better. To leave a legacy worth leaving. I don't mean to get morbid or anything...I'm not really talking about dying necessarily. But it recently hit me that time really does just fly by. I'm not in high school anymore counting down the years till I'm out. And time will never stand still. So I choose to make the most of every moment (I feel a song coming on...)!

Nichole Nordeman is one of my all time favorite singers. Really, what I like most about her music, is her lyrics. They are incredible. Sometimes I even get jealous, wishing I had written the song! She has a song called "Legacy" and I thought it would be fitting to share the lyrics at the end of this post. I'll also put a link so you can listen to it if you'd like.

Happy Mother's Day!!! Let's choose together to leave a great legacy!

Listen to "Legacy"

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

And I enjoy an accolade like the rest

You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

Redecorate

2010-04-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

Every Spring I get the urge to redecorate. With all the wintery decor safely put away (and might I add, it takes me a few months to get it all away) comes the desire to brighten up the house a bit! My house tends to be a bit on the dark side with not many windows in the main living area...so I naturally am always looking for ways to make the room feel brighter. I've caught the bug. I'm dying to redecorate! But as I graze the pages of the latest Pottery Barn catalog, I realize how petty I get. I ear-mark every page with items I "have to have" and I quickly find myself discontented with what I already have. It's easy to become ungrateful and not even realize it.

It's my birthday in a few weeks. 26 years old. Wow. I'm the WORST at making a birthday wish list. Usually, my family asks me what I would like and I stink at coming up with things I really want. I know people who are very strategic about their lists. They keep notes all year long so they don't forget when it comes time to let people know what you'd like. Not me...I can't ever think of things I would really enjoy. Not this year. I know what I'd like. A new bedspread. This one to be exact...

A bit preppy, but I love the casual feel of it. And, best of all...it's machine washable!

Anyways, as I dream of redecorating and wishful birthday gifts, Jesus has been gently reminding me of this: Just as I long to update my home from time to time, He desires to redecorate me too. Purifying me from the inside out. Cleansing me from stuff I've let build up and refreshing me. What a great reminder, Lord! I need these times of redecorating. I don't want to look the same for the rest of my life. I want to be known as a woman of God who is ok with being redecorated every now & then! Or even every day for that matter!

Wishing you happy days of redecorating, rearranging and refreshing!

Love, Emily

Forever I'm Changed

2010-03-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

I know sometimes it's hard to understand the words...so I put them below, just in case : )

Hope you like it! ~Emily

Open up my heart and come right in

Renew me, restore me

Cleanse me from the dirt & sin

Lead me on a path of righteousness

Become the center of my life so I may be blessed

Don't wanna go another day without You

Don't wanna go on alone

I come with open arms

Reaching for where You are

Just a glimpse of Your face

And forever I'm changed

You see me as I am

Broken with empty hands

Pour generously

And forever I'm changed

Lead me down the path of narrow ways

Teach me to follow after You for all of my days

My hope alone is in You God and King

I'll give You everything I am

I'll give You all of me

Yours, I am Yours, I am Yours...Forever and ever I'm Yours

Take 1

2010-03-12T07:30:00.000-08:00

This week was the beginning of a new journey...I finally began the process of recording some of my music.

Yipee!!! Hooray!!!

Ok, enough of that hoopla...

I find it to be no coincidence that almost exactly 1 year ago, the Lord gave me this word through Pastor David:

"Look for opportunities to step into the call God has on your life."

It feels so liberating to come to a time in my life where I have a tangible opportunity to "step into" and move forward in a facet of my music ministry. This is such a great reminder that when God speaks, He ultimately has the perfect timing to work it out! Last March when the Lord spoke this word to me, I was pretty down. I never went through any deep post-pardom depression, other than for the first 6 months or so after the girls were born, I seriously mourned the ministry opportunities I once had and that now were over. Leading worship, being the Youth Secretary, being a youth leader. My life was changing! Let's say after hearing the word Jesus gave Pastor David, I shut down, got discouraged and said to myself, "you will never have opportunities like you once had again, your life is basically over..." Now I realize that's dramatic, but that's sorta how my mind works. I'm a bit of a pessimist and sometimes find myself bogged down by things I can't even control. If I would have given up a year ago due to discouragement and being down-hearted, this opportunity to record would have never come along...I would have never let it.

You know what else? No one "found me". I have always fantasized about a producer "finding me" and my music career just happening. I know, so far-fetched, but hey...a girl can dream! But here I am, having to take these steps on my own. Putting myself out there...initiating this process. Sooooo scary, but this is the way the Lord wants it to be. He very specifically told ME to step out [in faith] and look for opportunities. So...here I go! I'm glad to have you along for the ride. The ride very well could be the Dumbo ride...or...it could be Splash Mountain : )...we'll just have to wait and see!

To end...don't give up on the dreams, visions, loves that the Lord has placed in your heart when you don't see them come to fruition right away. Paul so eloquently writes in Phillipians 1:5,

"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will PERFECT it until the day of Chris Jesus."

Blessings to you as you walk forward and look for opportunities to step into the call God has on your life!

~Emily

{I Heart Spring}

2010-03-03T09:04:00.001-08:00

Spring is in the air...

Spring & Fall are my FAVORITE seasons. They sit perfectly between my two least favorites...Summer & Winter. I know, I know..."how could you possibly hate Summer?" you ask. Well, I enjoy a perfect 60 degree day that's not too hot, not too cold...just right. Still able to wear a light sweater and cover up my never tanned arms and legs :). And as Winter is quickly turning to Spring...I'm reminded of how much I love the feelings the changing of the season bring.

Warmth, light, excitement, renewed energy to get stuff done...ooh...Spring cleaning!!!

You almost get the feeling like you can start afresh. Redecorate, rearrange, repurpose...

"The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in SEASON and bless all the work of your hands." Deut. 28:12

So with that said...

"Welcome March, so glad you're finally here! Lord, would you bless my hands and all that I set them to do. At home, at work, with my husband & kids, in ministry, in life. Rain down and bless this season!"

You Know Me Better

2010-02-23T18:03:00.000-08:00

Back when I was sure I would never get pregnant, I had such huge blinders on. I couldn't see to the right or left, front or back. I was so stuck. Stuck in my life and my relationship with the Lord. In talking with friends over the past few days about posting my song, I realized how applicable the words were to the struggle I faced when we had trouble getting pregnant. Really, the words speak to any of life's trials. And I shouldn't be surprised that it also ties in perfectly with the scripture I used to name my blog...

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

James 1: 2 & 3

The Lord is so smart - no surprise there, but I'm just in awe today of how He orchestrates our lives. Each of us so very unique and special to Him. Different gifting and talents, personalities and dreams. But created for the same purpose: to bring glory & honor to His Name.

I put the cutest picture of the cutest twins in the world at the top of this post as a testimony to God's greatness and love for His children. Even when I didn't know if or when we would get pregnant, His ways were HIGHER than mine and His thoughts were HIGHER than mine....He knew me better than I knew myself--whew! I could never have asked or imagined for twins...now they are 17 months old and feistier than ever! : )

I love you Evelyn Suzanne & Eleanor Marie...and I love you Jesus!!!

There's a Song In My Heart...

2010-02-21T19:20:00.000-08:00

I've struggled to answer a question in my life pertaining to the songs I've written and my singing: How much do I "put myself out there" before it becomes all about me and not about God? As a singer, I've encountered many a fellow songbird who has struggled with this very concept. As a Christian, how do I remain humble yet share my gift unabandonedly (not a real word according to spell check, but it's makes sense in my head!) with the world. Because if I truly believe that God gave me the gift of music, then shouldn't I be eager to share it with those around me? And honestly, it's a very cool way to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and what He's done in my life. Each song the Lord gives me is simply an overflow of something He's doing in my life at the time or the way I feel about Him - so how do I go about giving back this precious gift without coming across as arrogant or self-promoting?

I feel like one of the luckiest girls around that I can say I've had a lifetime of amazing opportunities to share my gift of singing. I was just telling my parents last night how grateful I am that people invested time and energy into "bringing me up" as a singer. Instructing me, allowing me to sharpen my gift. And not just me, thankfully! Growing up, I was surrounded by awesome singers - starting with my best friend, Rebecca. We even wrote songs together! Classics for sure! And there was Kelli & Nicholette...what great times! We grew up in a fairly small church on Whidbey Island. But quickly into our Jr. High-High School years, a man named Rob thought we were capable of putting together a youth worship band...and low and behold, we did it! Our pastor was even gracious enough to allow us opportunities to lead worship on a few Sunday mornings - we were blessed to have people surrounding us who believed in us! Man am I grateful for those times...

So here I am, 25-year-old-mom-of-twins. Did I miss something? Did I miss my chance to be something greater? Nah...the Lord knew I wasn't cut out for being a professional singer. Just watching Hollywood Week on American Idol confirms that! (I have serious anxiety just imagining what that week would do to little ol me!) Anyways, all that to say, it's just not in me. The drive, the passion for that lifestyle. But what is in me is writing music. I've been writing songs since I was a freshman in high school. Looking back on some of those first songs I wrote I cringe (and laugh). They sound so ridiculous...however, they were from the heart, so I won't discredit what the Lord was doing in my life then! : ) Through High School I continued to write and I even had the chance to record some of my favorites. Nothing special - in fact it was literally in my basement, recorded through our karaoke machine...one word - yikes! Kidding Dad...! My brother on acoustic guitar and my Dad on keyboard, we had one take to get the entire song down and somehow we ended up with something decent. I sold the cd to raise money for my tour with the Continental Singers after High School. All in all, that recording experience was huge for me and taught me so much about myself.

So I say all that to conclude with this...I am going to go out on a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE limb. For those of you who know me well, you know this is uncharacteristic of me, but I feel the Lord challenging me, so here I go.........(turn up the volume but not too loud in case you're in your office and turn off your itunes : )........

No bells, no whistles...just the overflow of my heart that I felt the Lord asked me to be willing to share with you. May the Lord fill you with joy and hope wherever you are in life, love and other mysteries (heehee, I just couldn't help it...thanks a lot Point of Grace!)

Sincerely and humbly,

Emily

*Lights: A gift from Katy : )

*Hair & Makeup: What?!

O, Happy Day!

2010-01-08T15:41:00.000-08:00

Today is a very special day...today is my 5 year anniversary!!! Wow, time just FLIES! Looking back, there are certain aspects of the day I can barely recall...but other memories seem like just yesterday! Amazing...the day you marry the love of your life. I can remember being a little girl, or even in high school for that matter, and wondering how I would know who was going to be "the one". What would it feel like, how would it all play out? Back then, I could never have imagined the order in which the Lord would take Ryan & I. If you have a little time, I'll tell you...

It was July 2003 and my roomie Sarah & I decided to throw a going away party for our friend Hollie who was moving to TN to go to Lee U. I knew Hollie from work, but we invited her friends from church too! Ryan just happened to be one of them. Well, for anyone who knows my friend Sarah, you know that she is 1) a HUGE supporter of people's talents...and 2) she enjoys embarrassing people a bit. So Sarah decides to tell everyone at Hollie's party that I'm going to be singing the National Anthem at the Evergreen St. Fair...and why don't I practice singing it for everyone?!? Umm...as you can imagine, I wanted to run as far away as possible and never see these people again...I was mortified! Everyone was very kind and egged me on until I really had no other choice but to do it--so I did. I think I probably closed my eyes and turned my back to everyone. What else would I do? To make a long story short, Ryan was smitten! Ha! He decided he would come see me sing at the fair and sure enough, he showed up! I was shocked (and frankly, I wasn't quite sure I even remembered him). He called me a few days later and asked me out...and the rest is history!

At the beginning of our marriage, one of our first fights was about how long we wanted to wait to start a family. If it were up to Ryan, we would have had a kid per year and by now, we'd practically be the Duggars. But back then, I thought it would be best to wait at least 5 years--let's just enjoy each other! Well, for the time being, I won. Until my friends started having kids. And what did I want? You guessed it...I desperately wanted to be pregnant! The next 2 years brought the toughest battle I would fight thus far in my Christian walk. Everywhere I turned there were pregnant people...it seemed that all my friends, even ones who weren't trying, were getting pregnant. Why not me? The feelings I felt and the sorrow is somewhat indescribable...yet God was faithful. About a month before finding out I was pregnant, I received a letter in the mail (no one ever sends letters anymore-so I knew it had to be important!). The letter read something like this:

"Emily, the Lord wants you to be ready...ready for a miracle."

I can't tell you how hard I cried that day. I didn't want to assume the word I had received was about a baby. So after asking the Lord to help me not get too far ahead of myself, I tucked the letter away and pressed on. I will never, ever forget the day we found out we were expecting. And I will certainly NEVER forget the day we found out it was TWINS!

So today, I look back over the past 5 years...the happiest times and the times where you wonder where to turn...and I'm so thankful!

Dreaming of the Cape...

2010-01-01T13:51:00.000-08:00

I don't know exactly where my love for the East Coast came from. Maybe it was those J.CREW catalogs I started to get in the mail when I was in 5th grade? I used to spend hours "shopping" the catalog, tabbing the pages, circling every item I thought I couldn't live without & even writing down the desired size and color...ok, so I still do that...! I would see the models in their perfectly feminine oversized men's shirts and white tenni's or cashmere cable sweaters and just die. I wanted to look just like them! Through middle & high school I was probably the most stylish nerd around-I looked at least 30! Now, instead of "shopping" the catalog, I dream shop online. It's like a game. I fill my cart with items I love, and then I see the $ total and I quickly click close! J.CREW has definitely influenced my love of East Coast style.

Another contender for most influential would be the magazine, Coastal Living. Enough said.

In November of 2007, Ryan & I decided to use our time share and stay on Cape Cod. It was such a dream to be going there in the fall. As we drove from Boston down the coast to "The Cape", the reds, yellows and oranges of the changing leaves were stunning! Breathtaking, really. We vowed to make a yearly trip--we had that wonderful of a time! Fall of 2008 brought the beautiful Evie & Ella into the world. Fall of 2009...well, with the economy and babies, a trip just wasn't gonna happen. Fall of 2010...my fingers are crossed! We've banked our time share now for the past 2 years and I think it might actually get to happen this year! I'm am SOOO excited. Beachcoming, leisurely drives through neighborhood older than my grandparent's parents, lobster cooked to perfection (and eaten in the same fashion), antiquing, eating more seafood, attending time share tours and dreaming...

So today, I'm dreaming of the Cape!

Baby Steps

2009-12-30T14:00:00.000-08:00

I've wanted to start a blog for quite some time now. Me and everyone else. I suppose if I had a "Bucket List", blogging would be on it. Not that I feel I have a whole lot to say...but who knows, maybe I do and I just don't know it yet! One thing you may or may not know about me is that I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Don't judge...it's right there in the Bible next to the "cleanliness/godliness"! Anyways, this blogging thing is actually going to be tough for me. Mostly due to the fact that I take FOREVER to actually publish a blog. I read and re-read till I'm blue in the face and have completely re-written my original blog and it's become something entirely different! It drives me nuts that I do this, but I'm determined to just be myself here. Because I trust you're doing the same.

The title of my blog is a phrase from one of my favorite scriptures. It's one of those phrases that sorta haunts me-in a good way. When I was in Middle School and into High School, I was a part of my church's Bible Quiz team. Where we would memorize scriptures and then go to a church and be, well, quizzed on what we had memorized. Looking back in retrospect, I'm not sure how I feel about it, but none the less, one of the only books that I actually remember is James chapter 1. Each verse is a precious jewel (as are all scriptures, I know) but these just really spoke to me! At one point in High School I was challenged to find a "life verse" and chose James 1: 2 & 3...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

James presents a serious challenge to believers here! Really Lord? Pure joy amidst my trials? Well, ok then. I'll do my very best because Your promise to me is that I will come out of the trial having gained perseverance. And actually, verse 4 continues with, "And perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be MATURE & COMPLETE, not lacking anything." Lord, I want that! So from these "life verses", came the title of my blog, "Considering it Pure Joy". I want my life to reflect that I am doing my very best to be joyful in all circumstances--both wonderful and difficult!

All because of Jesus,
Emily